Secret Dating Book In 2005 I had my heart broken. That caused me to start studying the art of seduction, to gain the upper hand in the world of relationships... and since then I have basically dedicated myself to laying tons and tons of women. Over 150 so far... I have a record of each. Some were very hot, some were hideous and everything in-between. These are their stories and whether glamorous or mortifying, this is how I remember it.

25 September 2011 ~ 0 Comments

I Feel Like A Million Bucks.

I Feel Like A Million Bucks.

Well, that last post is pretty damn embarrassing to read (I start cringing and then don’t read more than the first sentence or so) now that it’s almost an entire year later.  Funny how life has its ups and downs, that was apparently a pretty down segment for me.

Anyway, here’s what happened after that nonsense.  We ended up talking on the phone a couple days later and decided to have a “break” but where we’d see each other once or twice a week because we both missed each other.  I banged a couple chicks during this period and it worked out pretty awesomely because I didn’t have to hear any bullshit about whether or not I was banging other women, etc., because it was assumed that I was, and she could too.  That was fine with me because I try not to have a double standard, if I’m gonna be fucking other people then she should be able to as well.

Anyway, that resulted in her putting the pressure on me again after a few months and getting a full relationship status once again.  That was nice for about a week and then it started to be annoying again and I continued banging chicks on the side, really only one night stands though it’s not like I was dating anybody else.  Then after a couple months we had some real issues which I’d rather not get into, big fucking mess, and at some point…

While I was in the other room, she went on my cell phone and started reading texts.  This was the end of our relationship, as she saw multiple instances of me discussing banging chicks with guy friends of mine over text, as well as texts from girls saying shit like “had a great time last night” bla bla…. So basically, the relationship was over then and there.

We had sex a few more times after that even though she basically hated my guts because she’s also completely madly in love with me, so I pretty much destroyed her soul and I felt quite terrible about it myself.  But at the same time, to be honest, I was glad the whole charade was over and I could go back to just being an honest douche who bangs lots of women but doesn’t lie to any of them.  The lying part was what really bothered me.  I also never felt guilty about going on vacations to Vegas any more or any of that shit.  She used to lay guilt trips on me all the time about that nonsense and it’s nice to be single when you don’t have to hear any of that stuff.

About a month after we broke up, I ended up moving to another city because it sounded like a fun place to live and now I’m fucking killing it.  Bouncing between Vegas and LA, I have 3 hot fuck buddies who come over every couple days whenever I feel like inviting them, and business is better than ever to boot.

She immediately started dating her ex-boyfriend from before she was dating me, some asian dork who is insanely controlling and actually checks her phone records and emails to make sure she’s not in contact with me any more. Hahaha.  How do I know this?  Because she still calls me every so often from her house line to tell me that she misses me and to complain about what a fag this guy is.  I tell her to break up with him and find somebody else (she is extremely hot, this would be SIMPLE for her to do) but she’s just got some kind of insecurity where she can’t take the pressure of being alone.

So, to my friend in the prior post (myself one year ago) I say… toughen up, you sound like a gay.  Alternate: Drink up, queer.

Sorry I haven’t posted on here in forever, there’s plenty of new stories for the blog these days as I’ve banged about 30 girls since my last post a year ago lol.  Including a very hot little asian just last night.  Actually I fucked 2 girls yesterday, but one was a fuck buddy so that doesn’t count.


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23 October 2010 ~ 0 Comments

I Feel Like Complete Shit

I Feel Like Complete Shit

Oh god.  I feel like I murdered the only person in the world that I truly love.  I can’t stop crying.  I’m sitting on my bed with tears in my eyes and my chest is sunken, and I just did this all to myself.  I can’t believe I did this to myself.

I met my girlfriend on an internet dating site in early December 2009.  Over the next few months I chased her and won her over.. it took a while, ages in terms of the amount of effort I usually put in, but we finally started having sex February 3rd.  She didn’t even like me at first but I pursued because she was hot and I enjoyed talking to a girl for a change, so I figured why not.  Even though it took I believe 8 dates.  And she seemed to be completely nuts in a lot of ways – she was married, for one thing, to a guy in the military solely for the extra money he gets for being married. Pure business transaction. Second, she was still living in the same apartment as her ex boyfriend, but was planning to move out relatively soon.  She was also a completely reformed coke whore who turned herself into a straight A student in biology.

Whatever, I said, girls are nuts but still she seems cool and she’s very hot.  I talked to this girl for hours on the phone, actually started to like her more than the average ho.  Once we started banging I got more attached to her, started hanging out a few times a week and introducing her to my friends and all that shit. We did this casual thing for a few months.

I was still honest about the fact that I was banging other women at the time, of course.  She intensely disliked this and gradually by around April she began to flip out on me and demand that I be monogamous with her or else she wanted to leave me.  I was completely against this – I found multiple clever ways to extend my freedom while still being honest with her about the fact that I would occasionally bang other women.

I am not the type who likes to lie to people, cheating is not my favorite thing to do – it makes me feel very guilty – so I try to be completely honest whenever I can.

Well, needless to say I got very attached to her over these months, she even somehow got pregnant around April despite the fact that we ALWAYS used condoms religiously.  I still question to some degree whether it was mine because of this, but who knows.  Either way we agreed to have an abortion.  Needless to say this was a very stressful time for us, especially her because she’s a mexican catholic.. however she is extremely goal-oriented and wants to be a doctor, so having a baby at 21 was not exactly part of the plan. Either way, even after going through that we stayed together.

As a result of this, she decided to start taking a birth control pill and for the first time in my life, I agreed to have regular unprotected sex with a person.  I had had it a few times in the past, usually when very drunk, but that was mostly in my early years of college and at some point I realized how retarded and dangerous that was so I became insanely serious about using condoms with everyone, which was a great decision.  But needless to say, not using condoms with her only increased our attraction for each other.

By summertime she was preparing to leave me due to the fact that I still refused to be monogamous with her, and she couldn’t seem to process that a man would care for a woman and still not want to be exclusive with her.  So she began looking for other guys to replace me, despite the fact that she was fairly in love with me and the sex was great and all that.

Well, I found out about this and basically folded.  I said ok, fine.  I love you enough that I’m willing to give up the other girls in order to be with you.  At the time, I didn’t fully 100% intend to be faithful, I just couldn’t really stand to lose her so I had to say something to keep her around.  However the guilt of cheating rapidly slowed down the amount of other women I was picking up, to the point where I only really cheated on her a couple times, mostly when I was in Vegas or on other vacations.

So we started going out officially on June 10th, 2010 and we’ve been a serious couple since then.  Being in a serious relationship has been a very eye-opening experience for me, since I haven’t been in one since 2005.  I fell completely in love with her, got used to the routine of seeing her a few times a week and talking to her on the phone every single day, calling her every night before I’d go to sleep, going on dinner dates with her and having wine nights together.

All the while my two roommates who are also pickup artist types have been going out hard, hitting on women every night and getting laid a pretty regular amount as well.  I honestly do miss the hunt when I see them bring women home, despite the fact that I lost most of my drive to bang new women with my increasing attachment to my girlfriend.

Going out to bars became much less interesting for me when I didn’t intend to bring any women home.  This is not much of a surprise, but still.  It’s weird because the last 5 years of my life have been so focused on going out at night and trying to bring women home.  It seems completely batshit that I wouldn’t want to do this any more.

Further I found myself much less attracted to other women in general.  Bringing home nasty club hos who are generally like 7s at best lost its appeal.

Plus my girlfriend would do things for me constantly. I don’t even have a car so she was driving to my place every single time, picking me up and we would go somewhere or just hang out at my apartment which was always nice.

Yes, we got in fights fairly regularly but she was always the type to apologize no matter what afterwards and take the blame and I would tell her how much I loved her and everything would just solve itself.  In fact, I think I could easily be with her forever in a lot of ways – we always found a way to get through any problems that we had.

So, what happened right?  Sounds perfect..

My issue is that I’m 24 and I don’t see myself as one of those ‘relationship guys’ and I feel like I’m just pussyfooting around taking the easy road.  Yes I’m very happy with her and love her immensely but I still question whether I’m giving up on the game too early.  There are millions of women out there who are smoking hot and fascinating and awesome, and I know I can get a ton of them.  And the older and more attractive I become the more experiences I’ll be able to have and the more ridiculous shit I’ll be able to do.

I don’t want to be one of those guys who got married in his 20′s… that’s just nothing I’ve ever planned on doing, I have a whole life ahead of me and I’m not old enough to be in some relationship where I settle down and never look at another woman again… I’m a player of epic proportions, and I could become even so much better.

Look at George Clooney or Derek Jeter, or the other most eligible bachelors in the world.  They’re onto something man.. they have the ability to choose, and they keep that choice available to themselves.

So what is a guy to do?  Every time I go out I think that maybe I should break up with her, but every time I try to break up with her it fucking chokes me up to think about never seeing her again, letting her down, making her upset.  She is a beautiful goddamned flower and it’s just not right that I could ever hurt this girl.

I just wish I never got myself into this mess, because now I broke her goddamned heart today when I broke up with her.  I just told her straight up that I’m a complete asshole, and that I’m not meant to be in a relationship.

But now I’m sitting here alone fucking crying my eyes out with no real interest in going out to the bars… and she’s sending me texts telling me how she’s doing the same.

Fuck this, man.

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11 August 2010 ~ 0 Comments

Q&A: What’s the Right Body Language to Attract Women?

Q&A: What’s the Right Body Language to Attract Women?

What’s up guys.  Due to a couple private messages I’ve gotten, I decided to start a Q&A section of this site where I’ll give out some pointers rather than just talking about my dumb sexual exploits.  I don’t know how many of you will heed my advice, but I figure fuck it, why not? I’ll gladly get up on my pedestal.  So, this week’s question is:

What’s the Right Body Language to Attract Women?

Though this question might seem a bit simple or obvious, I actually think this is one of the best questions you could ask when it comes to picking up women.  At least 50% of the time that I’m out talking to women, this is what I’m focusing on.  I’ll call it the 5 keys to body language:

  1. Eye Contact
  2. Powerful Voice
  3. Physical Contact (Touching)
  4. Expressiveness
  5. Posture

I’ll get into each in detail below, but let me just say right now that if you focus only on these 5 things, there’s hardly another thing you ever have to learn about picking up women.  These are the real fundamentals that make a man attractive to a woman, before she ever considers a word that comes out of his mouth.

Eye Contact
Everybody says how eye contact is important, literally everybody, from your mother to your boss to your second grade teacher… but seriously, people still don’t fucking get it.  Look people in the eye.  Stare them deeply in the eye.  Make sure they know you will look them in the eye as long as goddamn necessary until they realize that you’re a fucking man who respects yourself and also respects them.  That’s what eye contact says to another person – I’m listening to you, and I’m I’m not afraid of what you’re saying nor who you are.  You can respect me, and I’ll respect you. Done.  If you’re sucking with women, there’s a great chance you have bad eye contact.

Powerful Voice
My voice is one of my greatest assets.  I’ve been told ever since I was a little kid that I should be a radio announcer because I have a deep baritone voice.  At this point in my life, I accentuate it as much as I can because I know what a great reaction I get out of people when they hear my deep, powerful voice.  If your voice sucks, do voice lessons.  Practice breathing into your diaphragm and speaking from your diaphragm while all that air is in your lungs.  The air pushes your voice out much louder and deeper.  Practice letting all the air out of your lungs slowly while grunting/bellowing until you can feel your whole chest vibrating to the pitch of your voice.  That’s your voice’s resonant frequency – speak to women in that frequency, and they’ll feel how damn powerful your voice is.  It’s a huge turn-on for chicks.  Seriously, take voice lessons or just look them up on youtube.

Physical Contact (Touching)
This part is important, and it also has to be done right.  You want the girl to see you as a person who’s comfortable with touching women, but it’s got to be a chill, mostly platonic dominant touch like you would have with a friend or girlfriend.  You don’t want to be creepily touching her just because you’re “supposed” to touch them or something.  Don’t do weird things like offer to give them a massage, this is the ultimate creeper move.  Just move them around, be confident and relaxed, and be aware of how comfortable they are with you.  It’s normal to touch girls.  Getting them comfortable with being physical around you means it won’t be awkward when you go to move in for the kiss or whatever later on.  Greet them with a hug and kiss on the cheek, etc.

Own your space.  Make big gestures and be animated.  Don’t be hyper, just be animated.  Make clear facial expressions and get girls wrapped up in your world.  Talk with your hands, it helps to control the point of focus in the conversation.  Just be a little bit larger than life – this is what charismatic people do, and it makes you easier to relate to when people are first meeting you.

When you look at a girl, do you find her more attractive if she’s standing with her head up and proud, or down and depressed?  Well, it’s the same for guys. In the words of Tupac, you gotta keep ya head up.  All the time.  Most people tend to duck their heads when they’re in uncomfortable situations.  This is a terrible habit that not only breeds back pain but makes you look like a weak-willed bitch.  Keep your damn head up.  There’s no way Prince William would duck his head in the presence of one of his buddies, and either should you.  Girls will immediately treat you with more respect when you walk around as if you’re the man.

I hope I was clear enough in describing these.  They’re the top 5 reasons why I’ve banged a great number of the girls on my list – focus on the fundamentals, you can always improve your body language.  It’s the difference between you being a somewhat attractive guy and a “hot” guy.

It’s the hot guys who get laid.

Watch some movies with Brad Pitt and George Clooney.  They’re the ultimate masters of using their body language to attract women.  Model their body language – it’ll do wonders for your game.

Signing out,

Matthew Bunny

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12 July 2010 ~ 7 Comments

Proof that Women are Insane

Proof that Women are Insane

Some interesting things happened the summer after my sophomore year of college, but nothing all THAT interesting.  So I’m going to skip right along in my merry fashion to…

Junior Year of College.

Oh boy.  This, friends, is the year that I truly began to come into my own as a fucking nutcase womanizer who bangs everything that crosses his path.  If you weren’t aware, that’s what I am now.  But I wasn’t before that year.

The reason junior year was so awesome is because I finally moved off-campus, and into a big house just a block off the major bar strip with 4 other guys who were all just about as interested as I was in plowing as many women as we could possibly get our dicks into.

I realize this might not sound that different from any other guy in his junior year of college, but all I can say is that we got really damn good at it, and had a hell of a lot of hilarious stories.  We went out about six nights a week for the next two years, and accumulated a lot of stories.  I’m going to write some of these down.

Alright, enough talk.  I’m supposed to let you know why all women are insane…

So there I was, the beginning of junior year of college.  On this particular night, we were going to a frat party where most of my new housemates were brothers.  These parties were generally pretty awesome, because we all knew everybody there and so we could basically push people around and get as much free beer as we wanted, while other people waited in line.  This made it particularly easy to game women as well, which was always the goal.

So I’m standing by the bar getting a drink, and who do I see next to me but a girl I used to crush on a little bit in high school!  All I really remembered about her was that we had danced together at one or two school dances.  She didn’t actually go to my high school, she was just good friends with another girl in my class, and I had run into her a couple times.

There was never any real romance though we had a few cute little dances together and it probably could have turned into something if I had any game back then.

So, I figured, perfect.  I now have a real dick that I really use, and I’m in my element at this frat party.  Perfect.  We start talking, and I can tell she is really into me.  She’s sticking by my side everywhere I go and staring me in the eyes and all that stuff, basically forgetting entirely about the friends she came with.

Awesome.  I start trying to seed the pull by talking about how awesome my new house is, and how it’s only like 4 blocks away from the party we were at.  I promise more beer and possibly stopping for pizza along the way.  She’s down.

We’ve walked about 2 blocks at this point, and we’re just passing a pizza place when she runs into a friend who’s walking their dog.  She stops to talk with this friend for a minute – I should have kept her with me and dragged her away, but I was not yet so good at logistics – and then a minute stretches into like 4 or 5 minutes, and at this point I go grab her and I’m like

“Hey, what’s up? You still down for pizza?”

And she looks at me with this blank face.  I swear it was one of the weirdest things, this girl who was totally amped to be hanging out with me was all of a sudden really forlorn and seemed pretty out of it.  I wondered if the guy had said anything important to her.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Ok, let’s go get some pizza then. Woo.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know.”

“What don’t you know? What’s up, did that guy say something to you?”

“No, it has nothing to do with him.  I just think maybe I should go home.”

“What? Why? What’s the deal…”

“Listen, Matthew, I just can’t do this with you.”

“What do you mean?  Do what?  I just wanna get some pizza.”

“I know, this is stupid.  I should just go home, seriously, trust me.”

“Whaaat are you talking about?  Dude, just be straight up with me what the hell happened in the last 5 minutes, you were all down to get pizza and chill and now you’re all wacked out…”

“Fine, you really want to know?  You really want to?”


“Matthew, in high school I was COMPLETELY OBSESSED with you.  I was in love with you, and you didn’t even give a shit about me!  You broke my heart!  And now you just want to fuck me, and I thought I wanted that too but I know you’re just going to forget about me again and it’s going to hurt EVEN WORSE than the first time!  Which is why I just need to go home NOW, I’m sorry but I just can’t go through with this!”

I was stunned.  Talk about a fucking curveball.  I literally could not speak.  I was mainly bouncing between a few ideas at once:

  • WHOA

At this point, the girl has tears streaming down her face and I’m still pretty much totally silent.  It’s been an epic amount of time that I’ve been planning a response, due to all these thoughts combined with the fact that I was druuuuunnkkkk off my ass.

“Baby, I am so confused right now.  I’ll be honest, I don’t think I took things as seriously back then but I guess I was kind of retarded in high school.. it’s basically due to the fact that I had no idea when girls were interested in me.  It’s my fault.  It’s not that I was an asshole, I was just really oblivious.  And now that I’ve met you again, I think you seem like a really awesome girl and I feel like we should just take it slow and maybe get some pizza and get to know each other a little better.  I’m definitely not trying to sleep with you, that’s crazy.  Let’s just chill and you can get calmed down.  I owe you a slice of pizza.  Is that ok?  Just walk with me.”

(Sniffle) “Ok. You promise you won’t try to have sex with me?”


So we grab some pizza.  Let me tell you, longest most agonizing trip to the pizza place of my life.  I should have absolutely let her leave when she wanted to, gone back to the frat party to try and pick up some stragglers, and left it at that.

But instead, I sat with her intermittently crying and asking me if I was serious about those things I said before, and then casting doubt on me and just saying that I wanted to fuck her.  There were many silent moments.  I was rapidly losing interest in having sex with her, and the more time that passed the more I realized how lucky I would be to just get out of this night alive and never see this batshit crazy girl again.

So, we left the pizza place and I told her that I was getting tired and it would probably be better if she just headed home, and then maybe we could hang out again later when she wasn’t so upset.

A Narrow Escape.

If I had found a way to bang that chick, I guarantee that would be the last free night of my life, as she would definitely incapacitate me with chloraform and chain me up in her basement.

I saw her a few other times that year, since she was actually friends with our next-door neighbors, who would throw boring parties every so often. But we never really said more than a tense “Hey” to each other after that night.

I just had a scary thought that she might be standing behind me as I wrote this, but a quick scan of the room confirmed that I’m safe… for now.

Girls are fucking insane, gentlemen.  Don’t you ever question that fact.

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31 January 2010 ~ 3 Comments

Gettin Head From a Brazilian Chick in a Field

Gettin Head From a Brazilian Chick in a Field

So the summer after my sophomore year I worked at the same summer camp I used to go to when I was a little kid, but just for one week of the summer to kinda stop by and see everybody.

So at that camp there are these ladies that prepare the food for us, and half of them were on some kind of foreign exchange program from other countries so they could see the USA.  What sucks for them is that they probably didn’t realize they’d be stuck in some kitchen in the middle of upstate NY most of the time and not actually seeing much cool stuff.  They got a pretty shitty deal if you ask me.

But whatever.  Two of these girls were very hot – one was from Sweden, and the other was from Brazil.

Now every time that we went to get food, breakfast lunch and dinner, these ladies would be there serving it and cleaning up after us and everything, and basically they were much hotter than any of the women attending our weird camp.. so all the guys would talk about them.

So I was like, shit.. I gotta try to work game on at least one of them.  I mean, how often do I get a chance to try to hook up with a legit hot chick with a sexy foreign accent who can barely speak english?! And since they were out in the middle of nowhere, you can be pretty damn sure that they were horny and not gettin’ any.

So I started chatting with the Brazilian one one day at lunch, just saying hi and asking some basic questions about where she was from… her english was terrible so it was a bit of a challenge to communicate.  So I had to rely on a lot of eye contact and smiling and stuff.. which is all good for pickup anyway, so not too much of an issue.

They ended up getting invited to play some games with us that week and also there was some kind of cheesy dance party we threw one night that they came to.

So at the dance party I got to talking to her out on the deck, and she seemed pretty interested because she was sticking around me a lot and smiling and all this stuff.. so I felt like it was going well.  I started touching her a little and she was receptive to it, so after about a half hour of standing around struggling to communicate I asked her if she wanted to go walk around outside.

We walked down to some gazebo and started making out, which was sweet.  Then we went back to the party, I guess because I was a pussy and didn’t want to move too fast.

So the next night we had a big fire where everybody went outside to play drums and cook s’mores and whatever, and the girls came to that too.  So all night we sat next to each other being all cute, and then once everybody had gone to bed I went and grabbed a sleeping bag and we hooked up and she blew me in the sleeping bag.  Woohoo!  I didn’t have any condoms, so who knows I probably could have banged her but whatever.

Then we fell asleep, and when we woke up around 4am it was fucking FREEZING and I thought I was possibly going to die of cold.  I clearly remember it being so cold that I could hardly think of anything besides getting inside.  So I drove her back to her cabin and then I went to sleep in mine.

I got her email address, and tried to look her up on facebook the other day but no luck.  Oh well.

31 January 2010 ~ 0 Comments

#10) An Awful Looking Friend from High School

#10) An Awful Looking Friend from High School

Pickup isn’t always pretty, and either are some of the women that I’ve fucked on my path to getting good at this stuff.

While analyzing my list of girls I’ve hooked up with, it’s clear to me that I went through a serious slump after the debacle that happened with numbers 8 and 9.  I don’t know if I had some kind of mental block or what, but I’m pretty sure that that experience set me back a few months in my learning curve.  My social circle was pretty much destroyed, and with that went my sources of  sex.

You see, as I was first learning pickup, pretty much all the hookups I got were through some kind of social circle, or just being in the right place at the right time.  I had no game.  Straight up, I couldn’t seduce a lamp-post.  I was just getting more accustomed to putting myself out there into the arena, and when you go out partying all the time, you’re literally bound to run into someone who will bang out.  Just by sheer luck really.

So for the next couple months, I was working on a couple different girls but I kept encountering this issue where I was deathly afraid to escalate.  I still kick myself for this when reading this list, because I missed out on a MAJOR hottie that was really into me that I met in one of my classes.. but due to chodeliness and lack of balls, I waited way way too long to make a move on her.  I got dropped into the friend zone, and when I finally got the balls to make a move, my window of acceptable sexual escalation was long closed and I got rejected.  Hard.  It was awkward.

So I learned my lesson.  You have to close.  You have to escalate. HAVE TO.  There is no seduction without physical escalation, and you have to constantly be moving forward.

But it really took me a good few months if not over a year to get that issue handled.. Resulting in mostly sexless life and frustration.  And sometimes, going after girls that were way beneath my standards due to sheer frustration with the fact that I could not get laid.  My self-esteem was taking a beating as I was trying to meet these new women and just getting rejected quite a bit.  It sucked.

Basically, I barely remember what happened with #10.  All I know is that it was the summer between my sophomore and junior year, and I was hanging out with some kids I knew from high school, and one of them was this nice girl who was cool to hang out with, but she was really unfortunate looking.  A little overweight, wore way too much makeup, naturally unattractive face… etc.

Bottom line, I was drunk off my ass and banged her in a car, or something.  I honestly don’t remember because after I realized what I had done, I didn’t want to think about fucking her ever again, so I’ve pretty much blocked this out of my memory.  It definitely happened, but I do not know the details.

Chalk this one up to a stupid, drunk fuck.

This is actually my first experience with banging a chick I was totally not attracted to, though there will be a few more of these stories to come.. especially the next few girls I banged while I was getting out of my slump. Basically I had almost an entire year of banging infrequently and low quality girls before I started to get to the next level in my game.  And that’s when shit got awesome.

So, double-digits.  In the least glorious fashion!

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28 January 2010 ~ 2 Comments

#9) A Self-Absorbed, Crazy, Hilarious Bitch

#9) A Self-Absorbed, Crazy, Hilarious Bitch

This post is closely related to my last one about banging my best friend’s girlfriend during my sophomore year of college because this girl was another of her very good friends.

Basically, this girl was totally nuts.  She wasn’t the most attractive girl, I’d say she was about 10-15 lbs overweight, but she was only like 18 so it wasn’t really that bad.  Her face was nothing special either.  But what I really enjoyed about this girl is that she was just fucking hilarious.  Like every time she would walk into a room everybody would kind of turn to her because she was constantly the center of attention.  It may be hard to describe this type of person, but she exists and everybody was pretty entertained by her.

So anyway, I love these types of people who can really work a room, and she was one of them.  It made me want to fuck her mercilessly, despite the fact that she was like a straight up 6 on the rating scale.

So we’d all go out as friends and get blackout drunk and then end up hooking up or something, and one night I just kind of woke up in her bed and it was pretty funny.  But to be completely honest I kind of liked this girl.  Which is weird to say, because now my standards are definitely higher and I’d never really be attracted to a 6 like that.  But back then I had a little less confidence in myself so I was happy to be occasionally gettin it.

What sucked was that she was totally nuts, so every time she’d get drunk she’d act all into me, but then in the morning she’d pretend like she didn’t like me any more and make these retarded jokes about how she hated waking up when I was there.  Which is perfectly justifiable, I should have gone up to my goddamn room after banging her.  But whatever, I was retarded and still learning the ropes to this stuff.

So anyway, I could tell that she was starting to like me and playing these games to try to get me more attached to her, and then I ended up banging one of her best friends.  As described in the last post I linked to at the top.

She found out, and basically gave me the dirtiest looks I’ve ever received in my life for the next two years. It was pretty terrible.  I actually felt pretty bad, because that bitch could be seriously scornful… and she was one of my pretty good friends while that was going on.  It sucked.

Soooo I guess the moral of the story, similar to the last story, is not to fuck around with girls who are best friends unless you really don’t care about never seeing them again.  Argh.

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27 January 2010 ~ 1 Comment

#8) I Had Sex With My Best Friend’s Girlfriend

#8) I Had Sex With My Best Friend’s Girlfriend

This is a post that I’m not so proud of, but I decided at the beginning that I would write out every girl that I’ve banged and how it went down… so this one’s going in there as well.  Here’s what happened.

So it was sophomore year of college and my best friend D had met this freshman chick the first couple weeks that we were there.  He started hooking up with her, and we got to be friends with all these freshman kids that lived on her floor (we were all in the same dorm).  So we were going out with these kids all the time, partying like crazy, getting blackout drunk and making terrible decisions.  Making out with multiple chicks at the same time in basement frat parties and doing all the dumb shit that college kids do.  It was a fucking blast.

D started getting a little more serious with this girl over the next couple months, and they became official boyfriend/girlfriend status and everything.  Now I was also becoming good friends with his girlfriend, and I was hooking up with her best friend (who will be in the next post).  It was a pretty crazy environment where everybody was flirting with everybody else and hooking up all the time and all I was concerned with was fucking anything that walked, as fast as I possibly could.

I finally started feeling like I was getting to be a real pimp and starting to see some good success with the pickup artist stuff I’d been studying for almost a year at that point.  However, I still was at this point of extreme emotional immaturity where I didn’t really have confidence in myself to pull a lot of hot girls, so any chance I got I would take.

So basically, there was a lot of sexual tension that had always existed between myself and D’s girlfriend.  It tends to happen between a girlfriend and any guys around because that’s just how sexual tension works.  If there are barriers that wouldn’t allow you and a girl to hook up (another great example is two people who work together.. which is why people who work together are always hooking up secretly) then it just seems safer for the two of you to flirt with each other, because it’s all “safe” … or something.

But then you introduce extreme amounts of alcohol into the mix, and the fact that we were like 19, and what do you get… barriers that are broken down.  Also, I’m a complete douche and I made a serious mistake.

So, one night I was extremely drunk and so was D’s girlfriend, and D was nowhere to be found.  So we started talking about some shit and getting closer to each other and talking about how much we like each other and then she blew me.

And at that point I was basically in kill mode, and decided that I had to have her completely and fuck her.  I realized consciously that this was a terrible thing to do to D, but I guess I just didn’t give a shit, or understand the value of a friend over some dumb bitch.  So the next night the same thing basically happened (because we drank to near blackout pretty much every night) and I ended up fucking her.

It was good sex, very emotional obviously and very forbidden.  But it was not worth it.

The next day she ended up telling some people because she felt too guilty about it, and for the most part I lost a lot of friends out of that group of people.  So did D, because as it turned out, one night while his girlfriend was passed out in the same bed as one of her other best girl friends (who happened to be a total whore), he got in bed with them and had sex with his girlfriend’s friend.  While his girlfriend was in the same bed, asleep. HA.

So basically we were both fucked, and though D was quite pissed at me for banging his girlfriend, everybody else was more pissed off at D for pulling off such a ridiculous act of infidelity.  So D and I both are hated by about 10-15 people in that dormitory now, though I haven’t really seen any of them in a while.  But we got a pretty bad reputation for being total scumbags.

This really sucked because I lost some good guy friends on that floor out of the deal, and I also lost the trust of my best friend, though we ended up working it out after a while and becoming pretty good friends again.

For the record, that shit’s just not worth it.  This for me is the ultimate example of not shitting where you eat.  You have to have boundaries in your life.  Hopefully I’ll never make a mistake like that again.

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21 January 2010 ~ 2 Comments

#7) A Sorority Whore

#7) A Sorority Whore

In my last post about my first threesome, one of the two girls was a pretty cute polish brunette.  Well, I stayed friends with those girls and I ended up fucking the polish chick one night when I was completely hammered.  I actually don’t remember at all how it went down, and I’m sure that’s because we were both basically blacked out.  Whatever.  All I know is that I wrote it down the next day, so it counts as the 7th girl I banged.

But about a year later that girl had joined a sorority and invited me to go with her to some kind of date night. I was down, thought I might get to fuck her again and if not I’d meet some of her sorority sisters.

Now I don’t remember why at this point, but for some reason she also had another date going.  It was a guy I was pretty cool with and had known from being on the crew team together a few years earlier.  So whatever, it wasn’t a big deal because I was still really just going to try to meet some of her sorority sisters and try to bang them out.

Before I went, it was necessary that I get extremely hammered because I didn’t know most of the girls in this sorority yet, so I didn’t want it to be awkward.  So I loaded up on Everclear and Amp energy drink before I went.  This is a recipe for blacking out.

The event itself was held at a bar, and about an hour into the event all I can remember is me sitting on a barstool passing in and out of consciousness due to extreme alcohol intake.  My date was nowhere to be found, and I was basically just hanging out with one of my roommates who happened to be going with another girl.

Later that night I got a call from my date who apologized for dipping out, and asked me if I wanted to come over to her place.  I said, sure why not.  Sounds like a solid invite to fuck.

I got there, and we started hooking up.  But she kept saying she had to go to the bathroom and disappearing for like 5 minutes at a time.  It was really weird.  Like, I kept getting down to her pussy and ready to fuck, and then she’d miraculously have to go to the bathroom again.  I thought she was like fucking with me or something.  After waiting another 5 minutes and being thoroughly pissed off with blue balls, I decided that “fuck it” I’m just going to peace out before she gets back from the bathroom.

I went home and told my roommates about the baffling disappearances into the bathroom… I was thoroughly confused, and pissed because I was still horny.

So, the next day I ran into the dude who was her other date.  We talked about what happened the night before, I told him I basically didn’t remember most of it because I was blacked out.  He told me that he ended up leaving early with her and banging her out at her apartment.

No shit.  I told him that she invited me over later to fuck but that some weird shit was going on so I ended up peacing out.  Good thing too, I didn’t want to be that guy’s sloppy seconds.  What a whore!

So THEN I come home and my roommate tells me that he talked to my date’s roommate, who said that my date was on her period yesterday and ended up getting a tampon stuck in her vagina.  Is that even possible?

So basically what we pieced together was that the other guy (who was a very big dude) must have banged her and trapped her tampon inside her pussy, which might explain why she kept disappearing to the bathroom when I was there.

Bottom line, that chick was a sliiiizzzzzuuttttttttttt!

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20 January 2010 ~ 1 Comment

My First Threesome

My First Threesome

That’s right, if you read the title then you know what’s coming.  Every man’s ultimate desire.

It was my sophomore year of college and I was meeting a lot of people all the time.  Well, I happened to meet two girls who lived on the floor below me and were friends with some of my friends.

These girls were cute – both brunettes, one was like a half-italian, half-spanish and the other was polish.  Anyway, they were very outwardly flirtatious.  The half-italian girl was always making sexually suggestive comments and flirtatious eye contact with guys, including myself.  And she would spend a little extra time talking to me whenever we ran into each other, making comments like “you’re cute” etc.  So I knew it was definitely feasible that I could hook up with her, and her friend seemed pretty flirtatious as well though she was more quiet.

So one sunday evening when nothing was going on, I ended up going down to their room to hang out and see what they were up to.  They started doing some frisky stuff like grabbing my ass and being kind of aggressive towards me.

Awesome.  I knew that, like usual, all I had to do was not mess it up.  These girls were horny, and so long as I didn’t act like a fool or say anything stupid, they might just take it out on me.

So I ended up sitting on the polish girl’s bed and we started talking about sex or kissing or something like that, and all of a sudden we were making out.  Sweet.

Now the italian/spanish girl was sitting on the laptop on the other side of the room and starts getting jealous.  “Hey! None of that in here!”  and basically to that the polish girl said “No, come here” in this sexy little voice… and now I had 2 girls kind of perched over top of me.

Well, one of them started touching my dick and I resumed making out with the polish girl.  They were now unzipping my pants and taking my dick out.

At this point I was starting to question whether I was actually living in reality or just making this shit up.  But I assure you, it was really happening.

So I grab one girl’s head and push it down towards my cock and she starts blowing me while I make out with the other one and grab both of their tits.  They take my pants off and now they’re both going to town down there, biting my thighs and sucking on my balls, my dick.. whatever.  Needless to say, I was sporting one of the most giant boners of my life and this felt ridiculously awesome.

I specifically remember thinking “This may be the greatest moment of my life.”

I actually took a really long time to blow a load, because I think I’d just been jerking off before I headed down there.  So they started getting bored, and one of them went back to the laptop while the other finished me off.  Then I headed back to my room, mission accomplished.

I later banged the polish chick but that’s another story that I’ll have to write separately, because it has a rather entertaining twist.

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