Secret Dating Book

Over winter break of that year, I went to a three-day camp event where I met a new very cute girl who was 2 years older than me.  She had a very pretty face, and I was immediately struck by it.  She was popular, and knew everybody that I did, but I’d never met her before.  I had to have her.

I got her screen name and started chatting with her over that winter and spring.  She was flirting pretty hard with this other kid at camp who was older than her, though, and I didn’t really think my chances were all that great.  Once again, I was going after some girl who was older and had her own things going on.

Well, that summer rolled around and I ended up attending a week-long camp with her when that guy she was interested in wasn’t in attendance.  I talked to her a LOT and spent a lot of time in her tent trying to get comfortable enough where I thought I could make a move.  Basically, my whole plan was to become good enough friends with her where I could just ask if she wanted to hook up, and hopefully she’d say yes.  If she didn’t, I’d just beg and plead and give her my “cute” smile.

She talked a lot about the other guy and how she loved him, and basically I told her that I didn’t mind that she liked the other guy more, and that I just wanted to hook up with her once and then I wouldn’t mind that she’d go back to him once she showed up.

I was absolutely not being the prize, but for some reason I think these girls found it charming enough, I guess because of the raw emotion and honesty combined with the comfort that I’d built with them up to that point.  Plus, almost everything I said was said like it was a joke, so this helped me to say things that were a little more forward, because I could always retract them if they didn’t go over too well.

Sooo anyway, after enough begging and pleading we ended up making out, and I sucked on her boobies which was really cool because I’d never done that before.  And then I went down on her, which I thought was totally awesome.  And she completely refused to go down on me in return. Selfish cunt!

Anyway, I slept in her tent a couple nights in a row and we did that sort of thing, and she always refused to blow me or do anything awesome besides make out.  But at that point in my life, I didn’t even care that much.  I had zero standards, and just getting to lick this relatively cute chick’s hairy pussy was good enough.  Ho hum.

Then her dude showed up like a week later, and nobody told him what we’d been doing.  She started sleeping in his tent, and I was sad, but I pretty much knew it was coming because that WAS the deal after all.

Oh well, chalk it up to my first experience rounding first base.

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It was year 2000 and I was 14. It was the last week of the summer at role-playing camp, and I was up late hanging out with this older girl who I talked with sometimes. At this point I’d been flirting with a few girls around camp, and I was gathering some attention. I was still too young to really do any damage, but I was starting to get my mojo flowing around these kids. So anyway, this girl was like 17 and 3 years older than me. And she was pretty cute, and pretty advanced.

I had heard some stories about her around camp that she might have had s-e-x with one of the older guys at the camp, and this intrigued me very much.  I knew she was way out of my league, but that almost made it feel easier for me to push the envelope… I guess because the rejection wouldn’t be as real if I was prepared for it in advance and it was from somebody so much older, and with the premise of a joke.

So back then I would write these cheesy poems that were meant to be a joke, and I would read them to people.  They were super cheesy and everyone enjoyed them because I was like this little sarcastic quirky kid.  So I had my notebook out when this girl came over, and I started writing her a four-line nonsense poem about my deep and eternal love for her and how I would never forget how beautiful she was. Or something.

And she enjoyed it and thought it was cute.  Then she wrote her own for me.  It was something about my eyes and how they are as blue as the sea.  I remember that quite clearly, even to this day.  Talking to hot older women was like crack back then, and it still is.

So then I started asking her about her love interests, and I told her that I wasn’t very experienced with girls.  I said I didn’t really know how to make out or anything, and I asked her if she would give me some coaching so I could really knock the socks off of these younger girls.  I was a sly dude, even back then.

So she started mouthing how you do it, with her lips in the air.  She said that you should lick your lips first, and then make them very full and puffed out so they’re soft, and then kind of pull gently on the other person’s lips.  Well, the sly dude that I was, I feigned confusion and said that I didn’t really get it.  “Let’s just try it really quick, like a practice round.”

She was not too eager about this, but I could tell she was interested because she didn’t totally say no.  Man, this was awesome, this girl was 3 years older than me!

So I insisted that she show me, and we got closer and she gave me like a 3-second kiss on the lips. Wow.

It was over almost immediately, but holy shit, I was psyched.

I never looked at that girl the same again.  I didn’t know shit back then, but I managed to get a short makeout with what was then a super hot chick.  Awesome.  Gloryyyy times.

Then a couple days later, the week ended and I had to start high school.  From awesome role-playing camp to that.  Scaryyy times. Why was I able to get a kiss at role-playing camp from a girl 3 years older, but still all the girls at school completely ignored me?

Even worse, when I got home I talked to one of my best friends and found out that while I was at camp he hooked up with this girl that I had been hanging out with and “dating” ..or something.. before I left.  It crushed me.  I really liked that girl, and now she liked my friend instead.  He got all the girls, I got none.  Not fair. Fuck. All I was left with was the memory of kissing an awesome girl, and a scary new school with all new people to look forward to.  I was screwed.

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When I was 12, I was a serious dork. Straight up. I played Final Fantasy video games all day and read fantasy novels and did really well in school. And I acted in plays sometimes. And in one play that I was in, my best friend and I were convinced by somebody else involved with the play to go to this summer camp that they went to where they dressed up like role-playing characters and did live action role-playing.

That’s right.  My first kiss occurred at a live action role-playing camp, just like they have in that movie Role Models.  In fact, most of my first sexual encounters happened there, because there were practically no rules.  It was a serious hippie sleep-away camp that was run by two old hippies who would go into the woods and smoke weed together while a bunch of teenagers ran amok and basically drank, did drugs, and hooked up with each other in tents while nobody was around. And once a week we’d all dress up in costumes and pretend to be fantasy characters and hit each other with foam swords or cast spells on each other.

As I said, I was a crazy little kid, and this was RIGHT up my alley.  But more than that, it was the freedom of being away from authority figures.

When I arrived at this camp, I knew my life would never be the same again.  No parents?  Holy SHIT.  I was 12 and my mom was always insanely protective.  So anyway, I went to this camp for one week with my best friend, and for the next 9 months we did nothing but beg and cry to our parents to let us go back the next summer, and that system continued for the next few years until I was like 17 and started to realize that going to role-playing camp was no longer the best way to pick up chicks.

So anyway, when I was 13 it was my second summer at this camp and I met a girl who was really shy and dorky and 2 years older than me.  I loved the idea of being with an older girl, ever since I was a wee little tyke, so my 13 year old boner was all about this girl.  She was not so fantastic looking, but she was nice and older, and that’s all that mattered.  We held hands once or something, and then at this fire circle at the end of the summer we kissed.  It was like a 10 second make-out.  And I was in heaven, man.  My first kiss, AND it was with a chick 2 years older?  Wow.  This was amazing.  So much better than getting ignored by the girls at school.

I fit in with these hippy role-playing kids.  They were so nice and accepting.  I finally felt like I had a place somewhere.  Too bad it was only a couple weeks out of the entire year.  Seriously, my life was torturous back then.  I hardly want to think about it.

Me and her wrote emails back and forth to each other for months afterward.  Every day I would come home from school and immediately check my email for her page-long message, and craft one myself.  Then things kinda slowed down as we eventually ran out of stuff to talk about.  We would see each other the next summer, but by that time things were a little different and I was interested in some new girls.  This was the last romance I had with this particular girl, but I will never forget that first kiss sitting by a fire.  Talk about validation.

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